Archive for Matters of the Heart

Happy Mother’s Day + Free “Card” for Your Refrigerator

By Jane · Comments (0)
Friday, May 10th, 2013

Happy Mother's Day, Mother's Day, Girl Meets Paper

Sometimes being a mom is a glorious, cuddling, reading-books-and-drinking-hot-chocolate kind of thing.

Do you remember those days? Rain slides down your windowpanes like butter on a hot griddle and you squeeze a little more tightly, trapping the minutes in your mommy arms.

Sometimes being a mom means your days are filled with picked dandelions and pretty rocks unearthed from next to the swing set because they most certainly are probably diamonds.

And mom, you’re worth those gemstones and those imperfect bouquets birthed from perfect love.

But sometimes it’s full hair-pulling handprints on your clean windows — and dirt scattered on just-mopped floors, and you slap your hand against your forehead because you feel as though you just can’t push a broom for one more second. And the fighting and bickering and dripping popsicles make you seriously consider walking out to get the mail…and not coming back for at least 19 minutes.

It’s all of those things.

This week I was walking through Target and I came upon a mama pushing her sweet brown-eyed boy past the row of vacuums. She was smiling and rolling her eyes as her 4 year old kept busy pointing at and counting each item they passed. Mom’s drumming fingers hinted that it must have been going on for awhile.

Sixty-four…

Sixty-five…

Then, “Mom, go forward!”

Sixty-nine…seventy!!

Like the old ladies at church did to me eleven years ago, I tossed my imaginary gray curls and moved my walker aside to admonish her.

“Enjoy it… (smile, sigh)… I miss those days!” I said.

I do.

I miss the mornings of chocolate milk and PBS shows and naps together on the couch. I miss the dimples on their hands and the smallness of their voices and the bigness of their adoration.

But mostly, I’m grateful.

So grateful to have shared my days and loaned out my heart to three little humans who are the very flesh of my flesh and bone of my bones.

So for all the moms reading, Happy Mother’s Day.

May you be overwhelmed with gratitude and may you be shown appreciation.

May you be smothered in kisses and bathed in the conviction that your work matters.

May you forget about the laundry and the dirty dishes and the shedding dog and the crumbs on the floor … and just enjoy your kids.

Enjoy them, Mom.

Because your love is what Mother’s Day is all about.

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Categories : Matters of the Heart, Motherhood/Mommy Duties
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Practical Ways to Encourage Your Struggling Friends

By Jane · Comments (0)
Thursday, April 11th, 2013

I didn’t expect her to begin crying or for me to stand there like a rotting tree stump in her presence, unsure of what to say, feet stupidly rooted to the carpet beneath me.

My brain was screaming for wisdom, my eyes searching her face for clues as to what would provide comfort or calm.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I stammered, reaching out to touch her arm. But what my own ears heard sounded more like Charlie Brown’s teacher than anything resembling a consoling response.

(Wah – wah – wah …)

  • Where were the soothing Bible verses in that moment?
  • The time-honored quotes?
  • The “perfect” word that would part the heavens and make everything okay…at least for a time?

I don’t know where they were, but I can tell you that they were not coming out of my mouth.

How to Encourage When You Don’t Have the Words

a prayer calendar to encourage those adopting

I’ve always wished I could be “that friend” — you know the one — she always knows just what to say, making you feel nearly guilty for not paying her an hourly counseling rate.

But since I’m not, I rely heavily on other methods of encouraging my friends and family, especially those coping with cancer, waiting to bring home long-prayed-for adopted children, or those living in chronic pain.

Here are some ideas:

  • If you have friends and family going through adoption, download and print THIS PRAYER CALENDAR for 30 ideas that will encourage them. I originally posted this prayer sheet (seen above) on my other blog for intentional parenting, The Unofficial Homeschooler.
  • Find the perfect words at Hallmark. For the price of a hot chocolate you can send a meaningful card and a handwritten note. Buy a handful, fill them out and stamp them, and stick them in your calendar so you can mail one a week.
  • Take note of special Bible verses as you find them. Jot them on pretty paper or a notecard they can stick on the fridge. Let the promises of God sustain them.
  • Grab an extra copy of that great devotional to give as a gift. I’ve recently purchased a few extra copies of Sarah Young’s dynamite book, Jesus Calling for friends and family members who are walking a difficult road. Add a bookmark with a prayer for them.
  • Add their photo to a prominent place in your house as a reminder to pray for them. OR – Buy a dollar store photo album and fill it specifically with pictures of people to pray for. Hand it to your kids while you’re making breakfast and teach them to lift up others!
  • Invite nearby friends over for a quiet lunch or afternoon drink to chat without interruption. Forget about finding the perfect words to say – just listen.
  • Find 30 more ideas in the download pictured above! Please share it with your community!

How do you creatively support and encourage those who are struggling?

 

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Categories : Faith, Matters of the Heart
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Why I Felt Like the Mother of the Groom in My Kitchen

By Jane · Comments (10)
Friday, March 1st, 2013

His hands drummed my shoulder blades as we swayed in the kitchen…

…legs struggled to cling and circle like a koala bear. Instead, they slipped and dangled, finally hanging around my knees.

I reached up to smooth his mop, rubbing my cheek against the perfect skin of his nape, feeling his little-boy-ness as my arms squeezed his ribs and yearned for the years to melt away; for his three year-old voice to return and his kisses to be small and sloppy.

Could he really be so big? Nearly too heavy to dance in my arms now?

These days wane, and the weight of their expiration seems palatable on sweet, quiet afternoons like this. My little one, my baby, the last to thrust his own life from my body, is sprouting and blooming in ways that have removed him solidly from being “little.”

***

My mind goes to another time that lies far ahead, or so it seems. A time when those hands will caress different shoulders and when his cheeks will brush those of his bride. The night will be glowing in candlelight and the crowd will hush to see the groom reach for his beloved.

And perhaps, after they celebrate their love, new and fresh on the dancefloor, perhaps he’ll reach for me. He’ll ask his mama for one more dance. And I’ll find this song again and whisper in his ears, “Do you remember this, son? Do you remember listening to this when you were young? We used to dance together in the kitchen.”

And I’ll feel the skin on his neck and breathe him in. And the music will remind me of that day in March when the snow was new and the sky peeked blue between winter clouds.

***

I snap back to the present and will myself to stay in the moment. I tell myself not to forget anything.

And then I swallow hard and turn on another song … so we won’t have to stop.

Not quite yet.

Girl Meets Paper, Jane Graham

Three years and a million memories ago…

 

 

Comments (10)
Categories : Matters of the Heart, Motherhood/Mommy Duties, Raising Children
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Why the First Day of School is My “After”

By Jane · Comments (18)
Tuesday, September 4th, 2012

In her book Heart of the Matter, New York Times Bestselling Author Emily Giffin gently bathes light on something we’ve probably all had to deal with at some time or another: the before and after moment in life that splits our story in two.

She writes:

“Whenever I hear of someone else’s tragedy, I do not dwell on the accident or diagnosis, or even the initial shock waves or aftermath of grief. Instead, I find myself reconstructing those final ordinary moments. Moments that make up our lives. Moments that were blissfully taken for granted—and that likely would have been forgotten altogether but for what followed. The before snapshots.” (p.1)

Last night, staring into a drowning darkness, I felt the same way.

Only not because of a diagnosis or, as in the book, brewing marital trouble, but because I realized that my decade-long stint as a mom of young children was officially over. This fall, all three of our children are off to school, and yesterday was my last “before.” My last day of things being “the way they were.” Today is the “after.”

My mornings of sitting snuggly on the couch with a stack of library books: over.

My afternoons of pushing a cart full of kids up and down the aisles in Target: over.

Days of a noisy house and little voices yelling for help and egg shells cracked into my cookie dough: all over.

I wept out the kind of grief that comes when you’ve wrung yourself out and lay spent for the good of another… and then have to withdraw. Flip a switch. Change paths. Let go.

For more than a decade my life has been a satellite in the orbit of motherhood, circling around these small birds, knowing there’d come a day when they’d all take wing.

And it is so hard. And it kills me to release them.

Not because I’m longing for more sippy cups or another round at pregnancy. Not because I don’t want them to grow up or because I’ve “lost my identity.”

None of those.

It’s because raising my kids has been my joy. Being with them and sharing moments of wonder and discovery have forever captured my heart. And though I’ll never stop mothering or being their mom, my role has shifted and my place here has changed.

The Lord brought to mind a verse last night:

Hebrews 12:2

New International Version
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I started thinking about Christ and his life here on earth. I thought about all the love he showed to others, about the teaching he did and the miracles he performed — and that despite knowing of the heartbreak that awaited him on the cross — he counted it all a joy.

While I would never compare myself in such a way to Jesus, I thought about those words and about how they resonate in a new way today for me as a mom. Whenever you share your whole heart with someone else — or three little “someone else’s” — pain is assured.

And despite knowing this, I counted it all a joy. 

I went in with eyes wide open, loving every moment. Storing them up in my heart. Taking pictures in my mind’s eye of pigtails in the wind and capes on training wheels.

And I am so grateful.

Utterly grateful…for each day my birds were in our nest.

Comments (18)
Categories : Career, challenging the status quo, Chores/Duties/Jobs, Deep Thoughts, Family, Finding Balance in Life, Growing Pains, Heartbreak, Kids in School, Matters of the Heart, Motherhood/Mommy Duties, Seasons of Life, Stay-At-Home-Mom/Working Mom
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What Our Child Discipline Philosophy Teaches Kids About God

By Jane · Comments (7)
Saturday, July 21st, 2012

I think one of the toughest aspects of parenting is not lack of sleep or abundance of dirty diapers; it’s wrestling through how to discipline a child effectively, but with great love.

That, my friends, is a tricky balance.

Certainly we’ve probably all given thought to how we discipline: when to intervene, when to punish, when to redirect. But have we given enough thought to the effects of our discipline?

Recently I came across some ideas that challenged me to re-think the issues I discipline in my own kids. I was prompted to think less about behaviors I SEE and more about heart issues.

In other words, instead of riding my kid for speaking too loudly at the dinner table or for yelling when friends come over, I should address the fact that he’s not being respectful of others because the rest of the group can’t finish their conversations.

Instead of scolding my child for not sharing or for tearing a ball out of his sister’s hands, I should concentrate on his spirit of selfishness and confront him with that.

Can you see how addressing the heart issue behind the offense offers a reason for your discipline?  Rather than simply spouting, “I told you to stop that!”, it also creates an atmosphere where you can say to your child, “What matters most to God is your heart, and I want to see your heart grow in love and worship–not selfishness.”

The danger with coming down on your children for their actions only is that:

  • It teaches that love is conditional on their good behavior. (If I want mommy to be happy, I have to be really good.)
  • It teaches perfectionism. (I’m always getting in trouble because nothing I ever do is good enough to please my mom.)
  • It increases the likelihood that your child will become a people-pleaser worried more about maintaining the status quo than doing the right thing in tough situations.
  • As your child grows in understanding, it can lend support to work-based theology rather than grace-based living.
  • It gives roots to the idea that what we DO matters more than WHO WE ARE. 

Let’s put this conversation in the context of OUR ADULT RELATIONSHIPS WITH GOD. 

How often do you or someone you know feel you have to “prove” your love for God by maintaining a rigorous Bible study schedule? How often do you feel that you are “nothing like that missionary who moved to Sudan…I’m just a mom” — or I’m just a (fill in the blank)?

Do you feel less than because you perceive you’re not doing enough?

Sister in Christ, 

  • God’s love for us is not conditional upon whether we wake up at 5 am to read Scripture.
  • God’s love does not shine brighter on families that minister to distant tribes than it does on moms who minister to their children in the kitchen.
  • It is not contingent upon how often we bring cookies to the sick in our congregations.
  • We don’t get extra credit for being on committees at church.
  • We don’t get docked “points” for failing to volunteer in the nursery.

God’s love for us is pure and perfect and UNCONDITIONAL when we are in Christ Jesus.

“Therefore, there is now NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1

Are we helping our children to understand this spirit of no condemnation?

Are we helping them grow in a spirit of love and heart transformation?

Or are we continuing in the power of our sinful flesh, encouraging them to behave to our standards?

Do we inadvertently send a message that we just need to do better?

May God give grace abundantly as we try to nurture little disciples of Jesus who care more about the condition of their heart and the posture of their worship than about actions measured by man.

 

Comments (7)
Categories : challenging the status quo, Discipline Issues, Matters of the Heart, Motherhood/Mommy Duties, Uncategorized
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5 Things You Can Do To Make Your Dreams Come True

By Jane · Comments (8)
Tuesday, May 22nd, 2012

A few weeks ago author Mary DeMuth tweeted this verse:

“Until the time came to fulfill his dreams, the Lord tested Joseph’s character.” Psalm 105:19 NLV

I read it with breath sucked in and the room around me silent.

Could it be, I wondered, that the Lord is testing me? Might he be testing you as you journey toward that dream nestled snuggly in your breast?

Following after a difficult dream can not only drain vitality from your smile, but it can begin to plant seeds of doubt where there should be trust. That, of course, is the danger. The tape in our head can easily begin to sound like the miniature devil squatting with his pitchfork on the shoulders of Tom and Jerry, convincing us that all’s for naught and the status quo is not only acceptable, but desirable.

No so.

Unfortunately, instead of looking up and actually charting out our next steps, many of us leave those dreams in the “good idea” category and settle for the idea of the dream rather than sweating to making it happen.

  • we lie awake at night plotting out how we could start a business that would allow us to quit our jobs
  • we fantasize about what we’d do with the extra time we’d have after starting that business
  • we plan vacations and wonder if we’ll ever have the money/time/freedom to take them
  • we contemplate inventions that would surely revolutionize QVC (and our wallets)
  • we wonder if our work/writing/volunteering will ever be noticed
Friends, I’m waving a banner today proclaiming that all of those hours of scheming into the night are not wasted. I believe God plants passions and inclinations in our hearts that can be pruned and tested and turned into great works for His glory, given our willingness to step onto the road to pursuing his leading.

So how can we do this?

  1. GET CRYSTAL CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT. If you can’t articulate your dream or idea in one sentence, spend some time articulating it. Michael Hyatt had an excellent post about this today on his blog, entitled “The 140 character Mission Statement.” He also has a fantastic “Life Plan” eBook you can download.
  2. STOP WAITING TO BE PICKED. Jeff Goins, one of my favorite bloggers wrote a stellar post about how action is required by us. The idea that God will deliver your heart’s desire directly to your doorstep (with delivery confirmation and insurance) is bogus. Time and again in the Bible God says, “Now go…” It’s time for us to do the same. Learn your craft. Attend a conference. Take a risk.
  3. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP  Mary DeMuth’s “4 Important Lessons Running Taught Me About Business” has some great nuggets of truth that can be applied beyond the realm of business. Watching gravel crunch underfoot is tedious and uninspiring. Look up! Back straight! March on!
  4. BE DILIGENT IN PRAYER. Ask the Lord to continually open doors and, likewise, make it clear when they are closing. Pray for wisdom (James 1:5). Petition new opportunities, new people in your path, moments for meaningful conversation.
  5. GIVE THANKS for small graces along the way, a gust of wind in your limp sails, a passing glance at what may lie ahead. God promises that he who began a good work will be faithful to complete it. Philippeans 1:6. Believe it!

What dream are you pursuing right now? What would you add to the list?

 

Comments (8)
Categories : dreams, Goals, Matters of the Heart, Stay-At-Home-Mom/Working Mom, Work, writing/work
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Should Dreams Give Way to Pragmatism?

By Jane · Comments (7)
Friday, April 27th, 2012

click for credit

Lately my husband and I have been considering our life together as though we were authors or movie directors.

We’ve been asking, if we were characters in a book or screenplay that WE were writing, what would we be doing with our lives? How would we puppeteer ourselves?

Would I write a plot line that centered around trips to Costco and mowing the lawn?

Of course because this is real life, we have real responsibilities. We’ll never escape paying the electric bill unless we decide to “go Amish” and move to Ohio. Since I don’t see that happening anytime soon, we’re left to analyze the things we can control.

Passive acceptance or intentional decision-making?

This May our three children will be competing in 37 ball games.

THIRTEEEE-SEVEN.

My friend’s kids have games every single day in the month of May except for ONE.

Am I to think, “Well, that’s just the way it is if we want our kids to have this experience.” ?

Or should I be thinking, “This is craziness. We can play ball in the back yard!”

But baseball isn’t the only thing wanting space on our calendar: there are job commitments, church involvement, and volunteering at the kids’ school. There’s extended family to visit and friendships to maintain. Recitals to attend and music lessons to schedule.

All of these small moments stack up to make a life.

And although some of them are lovely and will be treasured forever, I am left examining the pieces asking, “How intentional are we being about the decisions we sow? And what kind of life are we reaping?”

I don’t think that we’re being intentional enough. Pretty soon I’m going to be 40 and left to wonder why I still haven’t driven across the country in an RV (and then returned home to write a book about it).

I’ll be left to wonder why I didn’t take advantage of these precious years of raising children and helping their creativity and curiosity bloom.

I’ll be left to wonder why I determined that the status quo was good enough and why I let outside responsibilities puppeteer the lives and dreams of five people.

So, should dreams give way to pragmatism?

Should we stuff down the passions God has delicately planted in our hearts because we have bills to pay?

I say no! Not anymore.

I want more and better.

The question is, eternally, what is the price…and am I willing to pay it?

How you can help me pay the price

My husband told me today that we could live out my RV dream IF I could make enough money to support the adventure through my writing.

I gulped down my Coke with wide eyes, taking his challenge by the horns.

Starting today, I am choosing to believe that this could happen.

I might actually live my dream. 

But to do that, I need to cast a wider net and invite more people into this conversation. They say it’s all in “who you know,” so I guess I need to “know” more people; I need to welcome voices who might be agents of change.

Would you help me to cast a wider net and get to know some new folks who might usher in this new era of intentionality? If you’ve been blessed or encouraged by something you’ve read here, would you please invite your friends to subscribe to this blog?  It’s time to open the doors to more open doors.

 I am convinced that dreams do not have to die at the altar of pragmatism. That’s too boring for our God!

I believe that He has something more in store for us all.

Will you help me chase that dream?

Subscribe by clicking on the orange "radar" image and entering your info!

 

What dream seems out of reach for you right now? Have you ever thought about going after it anyway?

 

Comments (7)
Categories : dreams, Finding Balance in Life, Home, Matters of the Heart, Seasons of Life
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For When You’re Wilting

By Jane · Comments (4)
Thursday, April 26th, 2012

There are times, I tell myself, when we all feel a bit drained.

Droopy.

Wilting.

It might start after a letdown at the office or in dealing with a child who makes hurtful choices.

It might be due to a lack of quiet in your home or seeing dreams deflate at your feet.

 

It happens at different times and in different places, but it happens.

Water Check

This plant was given to us after my grandma died, at the intersection of autumn and winter. I love it because it is a living reminder of her; it flowers and stretches upward and unfolds into an umbrella of green.

But today I found it cowering at the window, leaves drooping. It looked tired.

I hate to admit it friends, but I’ve seen it before and I know it’s my own fault.

The wilting invades when I forget to water it.

I find this same thing to happen in my own life: I let life turn up the heat and then stick my face directly in the sun, standing still at the windows. I bloom for a season, but soon enough–when without water–I curl up into a huddled mass of mommy-needs-a-break. I make a B-line for the nearest couch cushion and blanket.

Of course the water I need is the Living kind. I need to be drinking in the Word.

I’ll never understand why it’s so hard for me to be diligent in this area; why it’s so hard to wake up early enough to take a long cool drink before the parching sets in.

What should be my first hope is too-often my last resort. But I’ve learned to see the patterns and anticipate the turns in my heart.

And so, today, if you’re wilting:

  • Turn off the noise.  The radio barks, the TV screams for your attention, and even while on “vibrate” your phone emits noise. Turn it all off. Completely. Let your mind be refreshed by the sound of nothing.
  • Be okay with resting. Sit down for a spell. Resist the urge to also fold laundry while you sit down. Resist the urge to check your Twitter feed while you rest. Close your eyes for fifteen minutes if you feel it would refresh you. Let your heart bring you to prayer or your body bring you to sleep. Set the timer so that you’re not lost into tomorrow. But be okay with it.
  • Grab your Bible. Open to a book like Philippians and soak in the promises of God. Receive grace. Receive peace. Absorb Paul’s contentment. 
  • Pray.  For strength. For the dust to settle. For wisdom in the desert; joy in a dry land.
  • Praise! Praise God for the ways he has blessed you. For the times he has lifted you up. For the moments he’s met you in your huddled mass of mommy-needs-a-break. GRATITUDE is a powerful weapon against wilting.
An hour after soaking my plant, it’s already coming back to life. Its head has returned its gaze to the sunshine and it is strong once again.
Water makes a growing thing beautiful.
Do you ever feel like you’re losing ground? Wilting? How do you gather up your strength?

 

 

Comments (4)
Categories : dreams, Faith, Finding Balance in Life, Matters of the Heart
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How Important Is My Happiness? Or Yours?

By Jane · Comments (0)
Thursday, April 19th, 2012

click photo for credit

The past few weeks have proven to be full of wrinkles and unforeseen changes. My emotions seem to move across the spectrum from frustration to sadness, from worry to the gray, undefinable weight of pondering late into the night.

Have you been there?

In the midst of all I feel God saying to me holiness…not happiness.

What matters more than my momentary smile, eruption of laughter, or evening levity is my pursuit of holiness.

That doesn’t mean perfection. It doesn’t mean that I’ll get it all neat and tidy and flawless. It certainly doesn’t mean that I’m better than you.

What it does mean is that God values our sanctification. He values us drawing near to Him so we can better be like him. Better know Him.

If bumps in the road can bring about godliness and right-living, then so be it.

Happiness-schmappiness?

Yes. If it means holiness, a resounding yes.

What do you think? Does God care about our happiness?

 

Comments (0)
Categories : Deep Thoughts, Faith, God, Heartbreak, Matters of the Heart
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Remembering the Sweetness

By Jane · Comments (4)
Tuesday, March 20th, 2012

A few nights ago I lay in bed staring at the dark and trying to ignore the hunger twisting my belly.

Rewinding the tapes, I played them over mentally, taking inventory of everything I’d eaten and scolding myself for not going to bed before the thought of snacks collided with my frail willpower. Feeling certain that I hadn’t eaten in several hours, I bolted upright at the thought of a bowl of Corn Flakes.

But then, I remembered.

I remembered that generous 10:30 pm bowl of ice cream drizzled with Hershey’s and lovingly smashed and churned into the consistency of a Wendy’s Frosty while my legs hid, folded in fleece beneath me on the sofa. My spoon wound its way through the delicious confection and I licked it clean while watching Austin Scarlet stitch his way into the Finale on Project Runway All-Stars.

Guess the cereal’s out, I reasoned with myself.

I lay there fairly ashamed. Not because I had eaten the ice cream–a girl needs her calcium, after all. But because I had completely forgotten it.

How is it we are blessed by sweetness and are so quick to forget it?

I’m not just talking about the big things–the promotion, the new home, the car that doesn’t break down. I’m talking about the small moments that make life sparkle; the ones that give texture to something otherwise flat and…polyester.

The feeling of a child’s smooth hand in your own. Sweetness.

The weight of longed-for sun warming your face on Sunday afternoon. Sweetness.

The canopy of friendship as you sit in grief or in joy. Sweetness, both.

Today as you move through the hours that write your story, take note of the quiet whispers pointing you to beauty and sweetness.

Take note of the delicious gifts that you’re being given today.

And be grateful.

Psalm 34:8 “Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.”

~

Share your small moment of sweetness with us! 

Comments (4)
Categories : Art/Beautiful Things, gratitude, Matters of the Heart
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Jane Graham, Girl Meets Paper, The Unofficial Homeschooler:: :: :: :: ::
In some ways this blog feels more like my beach house than anything else: it's a place for me to turn my face to the sun, breathe a little more deeply, and write about the faith journey. My kids are playing happily and I'm waiting for you. Won't you come in?  

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